Roller-coaster days

It starts by going up…

Just like a roller-coaster, yesterday my day started with going up… lots of positivity. I felt so much better from my recent tummy bug, no sickness and was full of the joys of life!

I did lots of exciting things – planned the food for our christmas party at the weekend, painted one of our kitchen walls with chalkboard paint for my little (and big!) man to enjoy, organised my christmas presents and picked up my son early from nursery and had a good old nursery rhyme sing song!

Then it goes down…

I woke up at 1am puking my guts up, couldn’t get back to sleep for ages then repeated the whole process. ugh ugh ugh. I was devasted that this stomach thing seemed to have come back, and hit me even harder than before. Then my little boy wakes up at 3am crying and making retching sounds – I rush in, thinking he’s dying (he wasn’t) and then try and get us both back to sleep

It goes up again…

7.30am – I wake up – feeling lots better. My son however has a horrible nappy (sorry TMI) but is so cheerful that we quickly clean it up and then play some games before nursery. Off he goes with a skip and a hop and I’m back to my organising, advent calendar making and feeling happy!

And back down…

Midday and I go for my progynova tablet. I count out how many I have had versus how many I should have had. Realise that over the past week I have managed to miss two doses. BOLLOCKS!!! I went into a panic. I can’t remember when I missed them, how I missed them but I start worrying like mad. I’ve potentially missed doses from being sick soon after taking them the last couple of days – but to actually forget doses as well! BIG BIG BOLLOCKS!!! I rushed to the pharmacy to talk to the nice lady there, who “reassures” me by telling me that there is not much I can do and to remember better in future! Whaaat! OK, well she kind of reassured me by saying that the medicine is currently maintaining my lining so it shouldn’t be a major issue as long as I don’t keep forgetting them.

finally, a loop the loop!

While I was at the pharmacist I bought… a pregnancy test! II know, I know I shouldn’t test early!) Well, my thoughts we if the day was going to be bad I might as well make it super bad… but…. EEEEEK!!!

OK, considering what happened last time maybe that should more be like (eeeek!)

A bloody BFP! (scuse my french). It could all now go wrong. I could miscarry again. I will try my best not to put all my hopes and dreams into this result, but for the moment I’m going to be positive and enjoy it.

So from my last 6 years of ttc, fertility treatment and IVF I’ve managed 4 BFPS including this one. One ended in my beautiful son, the other two with sadness. Here’s wishing, hoping and praying that this one can end with positivity – that for the moment my roller-coaster will keep going up.

The sensible part of my brain knows that this hurdle is crossed –  but there are more to come. The only thing I can do is eat healthily and make sure that I take my meds (hubby has agreed to remind me via text for every single tablet and suppository!).

Now its waiting for the official test day and the following 6 week scan… think sticky thoughts!! xxx