Gaaaaaah! I can be such a stresshead sometimes.
Every single minute I am comparing pregnancy symptoms now to what I was experiencing at this stage last time…. every. single. minute…!!!!
It doesn’t help that there are loads of things going on at the moment…
- Works sucks..! Yes truly and more than usual. Grievances being raised, poor performance in my department, bad quality product, extra pressure from new boss… uggggh. On top of that my husbands company are refusing him flexible working which means my son is in nursery 5 days a week which I really didn’t want! at all! He loves it (and is developing quickly) but we hate hate hate the fact that someone else is looking after our little miracle!
- My son has just discovered his ability to throw a tantrum at the smallest thing (wrong colour sippy cup, cheese falling off a piece of toast, me standing up – I’m such a bitch of a mum!)
- My cats are fighting – CONSTANTLY! They love me & my hubby and are as cuddly with us as ever but HATE each other with an ever growing passion. They always used to be best mates but they are super freaked out by the nearly-walking small person who shouts “gat gat” at them and tries to pat them. Well, I say pat them – he tries to smash them over the head with his toys while I try and grab the cats and the toys and teach him to be gentle at the same time!
- We officially have no money. That’s a bit of a lie, but our savings account has been bottomed out and my credit card is groaning through 9 months of only one salary while we shared parental leave. Thank macaroni cheese that we’re both earning now but the second round of IVF, plus extortionate nursery fees are taking their toll…
- My house is literally a disaster zone. Ants have moved into the dining room. The cats have shredded the carpet. My son leaves milky stains and food crumbs everywhere. There are toys stuffed into, on top of, underneath and around everything. There is a pile of laundry nearly reaching the ceiling on our dining room table. There is a pile of washing up nearly reaching the ceiling in our kitchen. I actually considered giving our little one his evening milk out of a cat bowl last night… french style right?!
I feel like the only way of keeping calm is to go “la la la la la” and focus on one thing at a time. What DOESN’T HELP is these stupid hormones which are now starting to course through my body are making me slightly crazy( but not yet making me sick – whyyyy?, I was at this point last time, what’s different? has something gone wrong – you get the gist!) . Ahem.
I have promised myself I will only do one pregnancy test per week. ONE. I may have done two so far already this week. So… only ONE more this week. ONE. definitely!
I’m hoping that the viability scan next Tuesday will make a difference to my stress levels, seeing that little flicker again will hopefully boost me up! We’ve not really even yet celebrated the news as we’re both so knackered from our one current small person. Next week will be better… YES IT WILL!! x