Today I had my assessment scan, to check things out before we have our meeting with the consultant next week.
Walking into the IVF clinic was the weirdest thing ever. Remembering that the last time I was there I was half convinced I’d never ever be a mother… and realising that this place made my dreams come true. Well, If my dream was a very loud, very pesky but very much loved 10 month old!
I was much more nervous than I thought I would be for the scan, I haven’t had my period since having my son and haven’t been breastfeeding for 5 months now. The nurse was also a bit worried, but as soon as she saw my scan she breathed out (thank god… felt for a second that my world was going to implode!) and said that I apparently have a nice and thick womb lining and my ovaries are “PCOS-ey”. It’s just apparently my body doesn’t want to let go of that womb lining (which sounds a bit gross to me!). I’ll have to have a dose of hormones to kick start my body into having a period before starting any FET cycle, which makes sense.
It’s much more real now that we are actually going to start treatment again, with the aim of pregnancy & a healthy baby at the end of it all. Sounds stupid but I had kinda forgotten about the implications of that…. one being NO BOOZE! The completely selfish version of me immediately started thinking about the weddings & parties we are going to this year… Not that booze is the be all and end all but after not drinking at all for over a year, and still not really drinking now (as hangovers are a killer, especially when babies don’t have a snooze button) I was looking forward to letting my hair down a bit!
The main thing however is that I did suffer with the treatment last time – I was tired and sore, and I was really sick in the first and second trimester of my pregnancy. Is it fair to expect my hubby to look after our son while I’m partly out of action? Last time there was no issue with me spending days on the sofa, going to bed early and not doing much – now we’re both already knackered from looking after the small man.
Then I remembered all the good reasons why we want to start IVF now, why it makes sense and it’s right for us, how much me and my hubby have talked and discussed it – ever since the first few weeks after having our son.
I thought about our two little frozen embryos, waiting for us to try a cycle with them… and I think about the excitement, joy and wonder of finding out that you are pregnant and feeling yourself change and your body grow… and then the sheer amazement when a little person appears after all that time.
Can we do it? Yes. Will it be tough? hell yes! Am I really nervous? absolutely definitely yes! But bring it on!!! xx