THAT question

When I think about the first 4 years of our marriage, there was always one question that we seemed to endlessly get from family, friends and random people in the supermarket – yes THAT question… “So when are you going to have a baby?” It generally made me feel like this…


Of course, they didn’t know that we’d been trying and were going through different treatments . Perhaps I didn’t communicate it as well as I should have in response to the questions – especially to those closer to us.

Once we got pregnant through IVF in September 2016 obviously the questions stopped, but I wanted to let people know that it hadn’t been easy for us – so I shared what we had been through with our friends and family.

We had little Eddie in June 2016, and went through the whirlwind of visitors and getting used to a new baby. But suddenly, now he’s 3 months old… THAT question has reared its ugly head again – “So when are you going to have ANOTHER baby?!” Now the question makes me feel like this…


Little old lady in the corner shop I can easily forgive – but what about those people who know what we’ve been through to have Eddie in our lives?! Now of course I know that these people don’t mean to offend, or cause any hurt to me by asking – they are just interested if we are thinking of adding to our family. But it does bring back the pain and worry of IVF when I think about trying to have another baby.

I’m not one to speak though – I have been known to ask people I know if they want kids, and then realise what I’ve said. I share pictures of Eddie, knowing how upset I used to get when yet another friend posted that she was pregnant or happy times with her children when I was going through fertility treatment. I remember being angry at pregnant women or mothers who complain about their problems – because the problem of not being able to get pregnant was such a heartache – and now I readily complain to anyone who will listen to me gabbing on!

My point? It’s all really tough. Fertility problems, IVF, pregnancy, being a mum, going for a second… sometimes life itself! It seems we are sensitive to the issues as they impact us at the time – and then can sometimes forget about them once we’ve moved on. Being kind to others is the right thing, and it’s easy to offend without meaning to – so perhaps I should take the high road and not explode or cry when people ask me THAT question… and think more before I blurt it out at others!

but in answer to it – will we have another baby? …. Hopefully… but who knows! xxx

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