Pregnancy Brain


Most people think of pregnancy brain as being forgetful, ditzy, silly, confused… and yes yes I am being all of those things – but the funniest thing about pregnancy brain so far (for me) is the worries and thoughts I have been having….

  1. Can I cross dress my baby?… I went to a department store the other day to have a rootle about in the sale, and “accidentally” went to the baby clothes section. Now we know what we’re having (gender wise!) so I went straight to that section – but I kept being distracted by the clothes for the opposite sex! My theory is that nobody can tell when they are new borns – so could I get away with buying and dressing baby in pretty dresses one day and nice little suits with bow ties the next? Surely that’s fine?!
  2. What if I name my baby after a serial killer? No offence meant at all here – but there are some more famous serial killer names out there – both real and from movies. Freddy (Kreuger), Carrie… etc etc! Can a name alone influence my future child? One of my friends is called Jimmy and says he is inspired by Jimmy Hendrix – what if I do the same thing and end up with a child who murders and eats people?! Hannibal is definitely off the list!
  3. Baby’s first word is likely to be something we repeat a lot – and me and hubby are so AWFUL at using swear words. Its become such a part of our vocabulary that we don’t even notice it any more! We had lunch with a friend and her baby the other day, and she mentioned how many profanities that we come out with – such appalling influences for a child….oops! The first word of our little one could very well be “sh*t it!” or “b*gger off”. My mum is going to be very unimpressed! Well, at least our baby will be the tough kid on the playground!
  4. Our house is pretty untidy, mainly because we both work long hours, go and see friends at the weekend and then can’t be bothered to clean when we get home! It’s not dirty dirty, but there are a few carpet stains and the cats moult like crazy most of the year round. My mum is planning to come and help me do a deep clean before baby comes, but then how do I keep it up? What if my baby catches some sort of cat hair disease, or red wine stain pox…. do these things exist? I guess it’s going to have to get used to our kind of mess – and will probably contribute to it!
  5. Where is the baby? My app is telling me little is the size of a cantaloupe melon now, or a least weasel according to Ovia! That is about 11inches long and 360g heavy… Now, not many people could hide a whole melon about their person, but I seem to have managed it! Slightly concerned that maybe baby has slipped down into my leg when I was asleep. Obviously little goes back into my uterus for a bit to kick me in the bladder once or twice a day, and then sneaks off back to its hiding place! I’m going to see my consultant tomorrow, and I’m slightly terrified he’s going to find that little has displaced my mammary glands and is now living in my left breast!


mmmm cinnamon donuts… now what was I talking about?! 🙂



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